Why me? Why us?
by J.A. Carlton
Summary: Season 1-ish. Sam and Dean wrestle with personal changes. SamAngst, HurtSam. Angsty Dean.
1. Chapter 1

Why me? Why us? Spn fic.

A little Season 1-ish fun by: sifi.

Disclaimed? Yah Shure Yew Betcha Schnookums.

Loved... if there is such a thing.

OOooOO

"Mmm... nuh... D," he didn't want to do it.

"Sam?" the older brother questioned glancing sidelong at him from the driver's seat.

_I won't! I won't do it! Gotta be strong!_ But his mouth had other ideas. "D, d...nnn." he couldn't stop his body from doubling over, his head from trying to bury itself between his knees as the pain made him wonder not for the first time how he managed to survive these damned things.

"SAM?!" Dean barked watching the color drain out of his little brother.

He pulled to the shoulder of the road slamming the impala into park and turned in the seat even as Sam's fingers flailed at the door latch.

_Must be bad... I hate it when this happens._ If Sam was reaching for the door latch it was a sure bet that whatever he was seeing was something nobody in their right minds wanted to.

"Sam?" Dean checked his voice, trying to calm the harsh out of it. _Why the fuck him? What the fuck's going on! Can we stop this shit please!_

"Mmm..." Sam groaned, "it's Turner..." _I hate this! _Another leg of the vision exploded into his brain leaving the outside world non-existent.

"Sam!" Dean barked as his little brother fell out of the car and into him unconscious. "Sam?" there was no need to mask his concern, Sam was out and all he could do was wait.

OOooOO

Tbc.

Would love to hear from anyone.

thanks, sifi.


	2. Chapter 2

Why Me? Why Us? Chpt 2.

By: sifi

OOooOO

The face flickered into and out of focus for several heartbeats before the world stabilized and seemed to solidify._ Once again he was trapped, stuck inside a moment yet to come, one he might or might not be able to prevent. His heart thundered vibrating his whole body as fear flooded his system. It wasn't fear of the visions, they just made his head feel like it was going to split apart like a rotten melon. It wasn't fear of what was coming. What scared Sam to his very core, what he was most afraid of was that he wouldn't be able to stop it, whatever _it_ was. _

_Mike Turner's face grinned wide, he held out his arm, reaching toward someone or something just beyond Sam's field of vision. At the moment he looked nothing like the haggard angry man they'd come across earlier in the day, though his eyes retained that sunken haunted look not too different from the one Max Miller had. _

_A stutter in his heartbeat brought a tingle of fear as something happened to the man's eyes, leaving them black, like the co-pilot on that United Britania flight, the one that taunted him about Jess.  
_

_A woman's scream rang out _

'_No,' Sam thought. His eyes snapped around the place. There was a fireplace, the mantle full of pictures. All around him the place was like a snapshot out of Better Homes and Gardens. 'What's going on?' A high pitched grunt brought his head around, the sight before him a horror. _

_Against the wall, pinned several feet above the floor was a cute little brown haired woman in a white knee length nightgown, her face wrenched in pain, tears streaming down through her confusion. _

"_No... please Michael... how are you doing this? Help me please..." she cried just before a line along her face split wide bringing another scream. _

OOooOO

"Stop!" Sam called through his unconsciousness, snapping Dean's attention back to him.

"Sam?" he leaned over his brother, "Come on Sammy talk t'me!" his hand swept his face, "come on little brother, give me something here."

Darkness pressed in on the car. Parked deep in a recess shadowed by huge trees Dean sat on the door frame of the back seat, the dome light shone on John's journal as he flipped through it, searching for anything his father might have known about psychics or psychic phenomenon. _There's gotta be something here... gotta be! C'mon dad, tell me you knew something! _He shook his head as another groan slid from his little brother. _Why Sam? Why us? What the hell did we ever do to deserve this huh? Why did OUR mom have to die? Alright, not that she was the only one but... why her? Why us? _

"Don't let me down here Sammy."

OOooOO

_Sam tore his eyes off the woman, something on the mantle drawing his gaze. A framed picture of this woman and Turner with a skyline he'd seen more than just a few times before. He knew the Chicago skyline. _

"_Pleeeeeaasse!" she screamed as movement caught Sam's attention. Turner's hand was still raised, he was still somehow psychically pinning her to the wall, but with a flick of his finger something moved and another rend appeared in the woman's skin, a streak of blood shot out into the room as something vital was severed. _

"_Stop! Don't!" Sam called watching her blood drip in heavy floes onto the floor. _

"_That should do it." Turner grinned as the woman's head fell forward, her chin resting on her chest, her consciousness gone, and with it maybe even her life. Sam couldn't be sure. _

"_No..." he breathed then felt a cold shiver as Turner's eyes crossed the room to stare directly into his. _

"_Come and get me, if you can." _

OOooOO

"Nnnno!" Sam barked pitching upright in the seat, startling his big brother off the door frame.

"Sam? Sam... what happened? What'd you see?" he asked while the younger man pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead, trying to drive away the horrible burning sensation between his eyes.

"He wants to be caught. It's Turner." He gasped fighting back the urge to hurl.

"Are you sure?" Dean asked, his brows furrowing deeply, it didn't sound right.

"He dared me to come for him. He was killing his wife the way mom was killed, the way Jess was killed."

"He's the yellow eyed demon?!" Dean barked almost excited.

"No, black eyes, like the co-pilot."

"Was there a fire?"

"Nuh uh." Sam shook his head, "God Dean I'm gonna puke." He leaned forward trying to push past the older man.

"Breathe through your mouth." He instructed handing over a plastic bag from a local quick mart, "Where is he?"

"Chicago, they live there."

"Bastard said they lived in Milwaukee! Friggin' liar." Dean grumbled shoving Sam toward the middle of the car and shutting the back door.

In minutes they were on the road heading south toward the Windy City.

OOooOO

Tbc.

Still hoping to hear anything.

Thanks.

sifi


	3. Chapter 3

Why Me, Why Us? - chpt 3.

By: sifi.

OOooOO

"'D'ja find 'im?" Dean asked around a mouthful of burger just before he stuffed his mouth full of onion loaf, "Mmm God this is the best friggin' thing I've ever tasted..." he grinned.

"Man I gotta ride with the aftermath of that stuff."

"Yeah." Dean smirked motioning to the waitress, "Can you wrap this up for me sweetheart?"

"Sure." She beamed at him.

"Ahhh I love being the highlight of a girls' day." He grinned watching the corn fed co-ed sway toward the kitchen before he motioned to the computer screen.

"Guy's got a myspace page, says he lives on the North Shore," Sam pointed out, then scrolled down to a photo of an early 1900's stone house on a corner lot. The photo was captioned, "My Kingdom", and the address was photo-shopped out.

"Dipshit forgot to crop out the street signs," Dean tapped the screen.

"Y'noticed that huh?" Sam asked.

"It would be rude to turn down an invitation don't cha think?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. Just wondering what kind of party it's going to be." Sam mused.

Dean leaned in, "You really think he already killed her?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah."

"Then what the hell man? What's the point? Why would you get some freaky ass vision like that if you couldn't do something about it?" he whispered angrily just before the waitress returned with his doggie bag. "Thank's." he nodded looking her up and down and receiving a cocked eyebrow in return.

"Sorry sweetheart, I'm spoken for." She countered flipping her ring finger up then pointing to the hostess who blew her a kiss. "And no offense but... you're not my flavor."

"Can't blame a guy for appreciating nature's splendor." He winked then returned to the business at hand as she giggled her way across the restaurant floor.

Sam shook his head grinning at his brother's audacity before serious-ing up again, "Look, I don't know why I'd see it, but he knew I saw him Dean, he knew it and he wanted me to see what he did to her. It's not like when Max killed his dad and uncle he didn't even know I existed, but this guy, he's possessed and he knew I saw it!" He slapped the computer top down.

"Alright, alright, calm down." Dean frowned, "What do you think he'd be after trying to trap us? I mean is it just the fame and fortune of getting a couple hunters under his belt or what?"

"You mean do I think Meg has anything to do with it?" Sam asked.

"Well she's not exactly president of our fan club." Dean blinked.

"Yeah, and it wouldn't surprise me if she turned up again." Sam nodded.

"I can't believe we almost led dad right to that bitch."

"Yeah..."

"I mean I thought we had pretty good instincts y'know? I thought... maybe I didn't pay enough attention to what he was doing y'know? Maybe I didn't listen well enough, something... I don't know." The elder brother shook his head.

"Dean you couldn't have known okay? You gotta stop going over this! If anyone's to blame it's dad for not giving us enough information!"

"Sam..." his voice held that familiar note of warning but the youngest Winchester wasn't about to listen to his brother tear himself up over something that ought to be laid at their father's doorstep.

"No Dean! You're gonna shut up and listen to me for once! That man has always kept us in the dark, just enough to probably one day get us killed! His 'need-to-know' mentality almost got all of us killed! His cryptic coordinate texts, its bullshit Dean! It's his way of keeping control over you, over us! We're no more than front-line ground pounders to him! He couldn't give a shit whether we live or die don't you get it? We can't count on him! Hell he probably watches what we do just to see if wherever he's sent us has something to do with the demon, he's probably just waiting for us to draw it out one day! The only people we can count on is each other and he's the one to blame for that!" Sam's jaw muscle clenched while his teeth ground through his frustration. He'd always been better able to see their father and his motivations for what they were, plain and simple vengeance. Nothing else mattered to John Winchester other than the yellow eyed demon, finding it and killing it. Not even the son's he'd emotionally abandoned twenty five years earlier.

"You don't know what you're talking about Sam. Everything that man has ever done has been about trying to keep..."

"...keep us safe, I know that's what you believe Dean, I know you have to believe it okay? I get it, I really do, but one day you're gonna be able to handle the truth..."

"So help me god Sam you better stop talking, right now." Dean warned.

Sam shrugged stuffing the laptop into his bag, "Fine. Let's go."

The problem was that everything Sam said was something that had rolled through Dean's own brain at one point or another, especially since the last time they'd been in Chicago was when Meg got her mitts on them and thanks to Sam wound up taking a swan dive out a seven story window. _Was that really just a few weeks ago? Shit. _John's words rang in his head, _"I got there just in time to see the girl take a dive out the window... she was the bad guy right?"_ and not for the first time he wondered if John maybe hadn't gotten there just a little bit earlier, maybe early enough to see if his sons could get out of a sticky situation on their own. Just to see what kind of soldiers they'd turned out to be after all.

OOooOO

Dean angled the rear view mirror, tilting the setting sunlight out of his eyes. A light flicked on in Turner's house as shadows grew long around it, the crime scene tape secured across the front door.

"Timer you think?" Sam asked.

"Probably."

Sam handed over a page from the local paper, the story line read, "Gruesome North Shore Killing, Third in Two Weeks".

"Great."

"The article says they're all three similar enough that the police are looking for a team."

"So it's the same guy right? That's what you're telling me right?" Dean asked noting Sam's nod, "But no visions from the first two?"

"Nothing."

"I don't get it Sam. What's it want?"

"When it gets dark I guess we'll find out."

OOooOO

Tbc.

Hope to hear from you.

Thanks.

sifi


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